My heart beats to the pulse of Your Words

And my death is the length of Your silence.

Cardiac arrest me to Your Chest against my chest

And I'll listen to Your Breath.

The music of Your Body is best

O' sweet Lord, orchestrate into us Your rest.

Your Chest against my chest and I'll listen to Your Breath.

It's time to rest... time to rest... time to rest...

Time to reset.

I am waiting for the slow down... won't it slow down.

Blink your eyes, miss the sights, time flies by.

Where have the days gone? What happened to life's song? I want my mom.

Dad, do you remember your span? See the movement of God's hand? What does it mean to be a man?

I'm waiting for the slow down... won't it slow down.

Shh... don't you hear the sound?

Listen... you can hear His heart pound.

Creation's tempo moves so slow. But we have to go... go, go.

I'm screaming 'NO!'

Wanna watch the clouds flow, see the sun burst and glow.

Sister, don't you miss your brother? Wonder what it's like when we really love one another?

I'm moving toward the slow down... come baby, let's just slow down.

Poetry & Silence

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Most of the time, the only way I can comprehend this world is in poetry and silence. I sit in silence... and think in poetry... wondering what in the world has gotten into us, or maybe what has left. There really aren't words for the things that we do, the ways of this world. So I find myself engaging it in poetry... sometimes aimless rhythm and rhyme,

"What a tremendous contradiction...
what a great piece of humorous non-fiction.
Enunciate your diction...
Portray the friction... take a lick and keep on
Tickin', tock, tock, tickin'... round and round til you find yourself smitten.
Glove on the right hand, none on the left...
Lets get outa here, we're freezin' to death."

but mostly it's broken fragments of words that only make sense when they're first birthed in my mind. One moment a wealth of meaning, the next a pile of letters spelling nothing you can quite sound-out... which ends up mirroring the very thing I was attempting to express. It's funny how these broken things work out, making a painful harmony. I struggle to know whether it's beautiful or terribly tragic. I struggle to know anything at all. And so I'll go... engaging the world in poetry and silence.
Time of the most, it's the make sense that only thing.

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Tension!

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Tension has been resounding through my life lately. Partially the emotional feeling of it, but what I'd like to explore right now is the mental thought of it. Pondering the fact that so much tension exists within our world, within ourselves, and (what I'll speak mostly of) within the Christian faith.

There's just so much tension: being responsible about tomorrow, while responding today; Christ being fully God, and yet fully man; allowing the Spirit to lead, while knowing you need to take the step; the Kingdom already and not yet; self interpretation of Scripture, or accepting the traditions of church and academic interpretation; friendship evangelism or street preaching; looking forward to the One Day, and dwelling rightly in the now; needing to share what's most Real and True, and doing so properly; and there is o' so much more.

I've been realizing lately, that when one side of these tensions wins over, we lose so much. A push in the far direction of either manifests unhealthy words and actions. "I'm passion about this and want to pursue it, but I don't like the tension I'm feeling," and so "I'll choose this route over the other." And we'll go rallying those around us to our side of right living, forgetting about the thing we desired to pursue in the first place. At the worst of times, we'll end up hurting those around us and divorcing them for not being so aligned with us. Or you'll stand in the opposite of passion, being given to complete laziness, not standing for much, if anything, at all.

Most of these thoughts are being birthed by a Church history class I'm in right now, and to my surprise, nearly all of the significant events we're studying involve factions, schisms, and divisions. And while studying these things all I can think of is Jesus' cry for us to be one, as He is one with the Father, that we may be in Him so that the world may believe that Jesus is who He says He is, that His name might be glorified. And so... what shall we do with all this tension? In the midst of these tensions, how do we live in right relationship with ourselves, the world, the Church at large, and most importantly God ? I certainly don't have any great answers, but I do believe that it might start by not forfeiting the tension. I do believe that it's okay for us to suspend within the tension, for we are finite beings peering into the endless.

May we be the kind of people who roll up our sleeves, stretch out our arms, and grab hold. Father, reveal to us Yourself as we move and dwell within the tensions of our faith.

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Lament... such an integral part of the Christian faith. Where have you gone lament? Where have you gone!?

The church has sidelined and ignored the one true expression for a fallen world. Placed at the back of the closet and told, "We won't be needing this any more." I feel its time to pick lament back up, dust it off, and push the church back into a healthy reality.

As much as we'd like to push pain and suffering out of our 'worship' settings within the church, we simply can not. We exist within a fallen world... God knows it... we know it... so let us not ignore it. Tragedies are taking place daily, and our response is a heartless "Trust the Lord" or "God works all things out for good." Now I am not saying that God is not good, surely He is the very essence of goodness. Nor am I saying that we should not trust God, there is none more trustworthy. I am saying that the Christian response to grief, pain, and suffering is more times heartless than loving.

Pain and suffering begs an embrace. Both from the one dwelling in it, and those situated around it. Suffering and searching souls must express their anguish. Injustice, sin, and the rest of the dark powers of this world need to be acknowledged and called by their right name. How can you ask for help if you don't recognize that there's a problem? Once we've expressed our sufferings, pains, sins, and wrong-doings... it is then that we can cry out to God for His Strength, Forgiveness, Healing, Freedom, and Grace.

Lament... cry out... and then you can truly profess, with a pure heart, that God is Good, Trustworthy, and Mighty to Save. Lament simply cannot remain stagnant... otherwise our worship turns to nothing but a shaking fist... and there we will sit... steeping in a pool of our own bitterness... suffering all the more. Lament must not be ruled by emotion, yet we should certainly not ignore it. Lament must move, must progress... saying that "even though things aren't alright right now, I will trust in You." Lament is the essential acknowledgment that we are not home yet. Praise is the exclamation that we can't wait to get there.

Lord, teach us what it means to lament. Show us Your Heart and give us Your Perspective in the midst of our sufferings. Teach us to respond with a pure and loving heart to those hurting around us. Lord, let us give place to lament once again, that our hearts might be changed, that it might be well with our souls, that we will praise You honestly in Spirit and in Truth. We long for Your Kingdom and Reign Father... You are the best place to be.